Giver of Life

Testimony by T. W. Hao

I was born into a Christian family. Everybody assumed I was a well-behaved child. But this is not true until I believe and accepted Christ. Since kindergarden I was a very very rebellious child who likes to break the rules. I liked to bully girls and was constantly picking on a fight with the boys. As a consequences, my teacher, frustrated with me, decided to send me away from the ‘excellent’ class as she was worried that I may have a negative influence on the well-behaved children.

Then, I enter into primary school. I started to smoke, gamble, fight, and even steal my parents’ money to buy story books I fancy. I stole books from book exhibitions. My neighbours also thought that my future was gone. By the time I graduated from primary school, my elder sister decided to bring me to church. Initially I was reluctant to attend because I could not stand the boring sermons by the preachers. With my attitude at that time, it was astonishing that I would have the patience to give it another try,but I suspect it was the work of Holy Spirit, that I have the patience for attending the biblical teachings conducted in the church. All of a sudden, I begin to experience a 180 degree change in my life. I became enthusiastic to care and help other people. I do not steal anymore and I even admit my small faults like breaking an egg to my mother. My mother was surprised and touched by the new change in me and encourage me to go to church more often.

However, in secondary school, I became decadent once again. The reason was – all the youth attending at that time were females and I was embarrassed and shy to go to church to mix with them. I was dissatisfied for a few years. Then arrive to the second turning point of my life when I was in matriculation, and my friends invited me to join their Christian gathering, which was conducted weekly. I joined their activities and was again touched by the Holy Spirit. I attended every gathering there and went to church regularly even if the members of the church consists mostly of girls as I do not feel embarrassed in front of them anymore because I know we are brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ.

I was baptized 3 years ago, now I am most happy and relaxed when I go to church and I am drawing closer to God day by day. If it wasn’t because of Jesus, I think I will not be here in USMKK. If it wasn’t because of Jesus, I think you would have seen my photo in newspaper photographed as gangster, thief, robber and any other law-breaker. Jesus Christ is the Giver of my life because He turned my life and gave me a new life. How about you, who is your Giver of life?

Methodist Church Chrismas Carolling 2007 Photos

Soar like an eagle.

It’s already 9.14pm and my body is reacting well to paracetamol I took bout half hour ago. Really a relieve for me. More than 1 hour ago, my body was aching terribly, with my temperature rising up, headache all over my frontal and occipital region. Really really bad. Maybe I guess its due to my excessive exercise! I have been playing squash for the past 5-6 days continously.

Now at least Im better, can continue my studies. I need to equip myself with sufficient knowledge before exam in 2 weeks time. I know I dun stand as tall as the ‘A’ student in my group. But I believe I can match them by the end of next year, which is my final year. When this happen, it will be a good chance for me to glorify God. A knowledgable doctor will bring benefits to his patient. I believe in Jesus, I believe in His power, I believe in His miracles. Im going to soar like an eagle in academics!!!

God has been so faithful to me. I finally passed my ORL posting (Have to take it twice!). I was relieve by that, my ORL posting has been worrying me the past 1 month. Really glad its over. Now only let Paediatrics to go on. Again Im relying on His grace to carry me through.

Sometimes I kinda feel afraid and reluctant writing blogs. Got some kind of fear that people might think negatively about me or even have some presumptous ideas about me. But this blog has been really useful for me to channel out my feelings and opinions without hurting anyone. Without this blog, I might be storing up my feelings, and one day it might explode.

One more thing I wanna thank God here is that, one of my non-christian fren has approached me, and asked me to give him some materials about Jesus to read. This has not happened to me for a long time and Im glad for this. I really hope and pray that God will open up his heart and bring his to salvation.

Tomorrow I will be going to Hospital Kota Bahru again. Hope to see more patient and learn more things there.

Finding new strength

It has been almost 1 week since I let go of my romantic feelings towards her. My heart is gradually healing and getting better. Though there is a sense of loneliness in my heart, but I just ignore it. I try to comfort myself by saying to myself, ‘There are many more people out there who were must more lonelier than me. At least I still have my family behind me at the time. Many sick people in ward were all alone battling against their illness’. It’s time to come back to reality and continue with life.

I also have been trying to keep myself busing with ward work in the hospital, getting my log book requirements done as fast as possible. Paediatrics in USM here really challenging, we are expected to be in ward from 8.00am till 5.00pm in the evening and oncalls at least once a week. Really no time to study at all. It’s already the 3^rd week of paedciatrics and I only got 4 case presentation! Getting worried and anxious… Will I make it in this posting?

Anyway, life in paediatrics ward has it’s pros too. Everytime I get stress or fed-up, but when I look at those cute little kids in the ward, some how my heart melted. I’m filled with compassion for their illness. Some of them are diagnosed with serious illness such as Down Syndrome, Immunodeficiency, pneumonia. These kids did nothing to deserve what they are suffering now! It’s just that they are unfortunate, sometime I do wonder why God allow such things happen to them? This is really an unfair world…

Yesterday I got to do an Exchange Transfusion (ET) for a little newborn. He was born with severe jaundice and needed that transfusions to bring his bilirubin’s level. I happen to be in the ward that time, and the nurse there asked me to come down to NICU to help the doctor there do ET. The ET was a long procedure, after a while I got tired, and sick of it. But when I looked into the baby’s eyes, and put myself in his shoes, imagining myself as the baby, I felt compassionate for the baby. So I soften my heart and continue the ET.

I believe patient in the wards not only needs the physical healing, they also need the spiritual healing from God. They need salvation. I’m the only Christian in my group, and most of the time, I noticed I’m the only Christian in the ward. I want to shine for Christ and bring the gospel of Jesus to the sick but all the times, my mouth just can’t open. I usually waits for the opportunity where the patient will say something that can make me bring out the picture of God but all the while, this has not happened yet…

TOT-34

I just got a comment tat I have been bashing and saying negative things over this blog. I started this blog to share about my experience and my friend’s experience with God. But it seems that this has become a place to vengence my frustration and anger. Well I guess this post will help…

Written on March 05, 2008, in http://tanyuethan.blogs.friendster.com/jonathans/

Hi, its been some time since i last wrote. I wanted to post a blog before i left for Temasya Olahraga Tahunan (TOT) in USM Penang last weekend but has been busy training and doing my posting work. Tis yr TOT was kinda meaningful for me personally. When i went for TOT during my 1st and 2nd yr, i didnt win any medal. Tis 2 yrs i went back, feeling sad and dejected. At times i asked myself whether shud i continue on training for TOT. Training for TOT has taken a tonne of my time and energy and finishing without medals are reali heartbreaking.

During my 3rd yr, I went for TOT for d 3rd time. There i finished 4th in 5000m, i got a medal (Tat event top 5 gets medals). Many of juniors tat time finished with gold, silver and bronze. I aimed to do better the following yr…

Tis time is my 4th TOT, i came to USM Penang with mixed feelings, one side of me wants to win, and another side of me feel lack of confidence. Tis time i competed in 2 events, 5000m and 3000m steeple chase which is on sat n sun each.

On Sat evening, i ran the 5000m. Halfway the race, suddenly i lost my focus and confidence. My pace slowed down and i only managed to finish 5th. I got a medal (since top 5 gets medals) but i was kinda disappointed with myself for losing focus n confidence. Tat Sat nite, i was feeling terrible, i got no confidence to run the next day’s 3000m steeple chase. I felt tat d results gonna be the same as 5000m.

But thank God i brought along a book to TOT. So i read tat book tat Sat nite. The book is called ‘Chang chang dao gao’ (Praying Always by Frans Baker). I was reading a part called ‘tan ran wu ju de dao gao’ which means truthful and fearless prayer. I dunno how it is related to me tat time but i jz read it and went to sleep early

The next day, sunday morning, i woke up, feeling refreshed better than the day before but thr is still feelings of disappointed because of 5000m which i din do well. But i jz took my breakfast and went to the stadium. There in the stadium, Liang Hoong and Tee Ming has jz finished their events and they won bronze each. When i heard of their good news, i lifted up my spirit. I told myself, if the juniors can do it, so do I!

Right before the event 3000m started, i looked up the sky and prayed to God, ‘Lord, pls give me the strength!’. I jz feel a new strength in me. I ran the event and finishes second! I won the silver but tat was my best run ever… Thank God for everything!

Things beyond our control

True when some people say that certain things are beyond our control. We may want it to happen this way, which is also the way we wants it but sometimes it may happen the way exactly we don’t want it to happens. Everytime when i got into this situation, I tend to post a blog here. Don’t know why, but this place for me to release my frustrations, irritations, sadness, disappointment. Today is my birthday, but one of my juniors break a bad news for me, although it’s a news that i should know much earlier. I don’t understand why he should break this news a this time. Dahlah aku dah banyak masalah bertimbun-timbun ni

But nevermind, I forgive him for that. I felt sad and disheartened over this news but there’s nothing I can do about this. I have to accept it with an open heart. Maybe I guess it’s God’s will. But I believe its not the end of the road yet, good things are yet to come…

It hard to imagine that I always have to pick up pieces of disappointments. But as a medical student who sees sick patient everyday, in spice of heart-breaking events, I always learn to give thanks to God. At least Im not sick and not handicapped. I not alone in this world, God is there for me.

Posted in http://tanyuethan.blogspot.com/ on March 25, 2008

Cameron Trip!

It’s getting late evening, and I have yet to finish my revision for my exam this wednesday and thursday. Still a lot more I need to cover. 4^th yr is a really a year of continuous stress for me, wonder how is it going to be in final year. I just ate my dinner, later I going to get a good haircut outside.

It was about 24 hours since I arrive back in campus from our church trip in Cameron. This trip, though short, has given me a lot of insight about my spiritual life. Thus, more ideas for me to write in this blog. Actually I didn’t plan to go for this trip, because of the fees and my coming exams, but when Yew Lang offered to subsidize for me the fees, I changed my mind, after all, I can bring some books there to read whenever I’m free. I planned to share about this trip after my exam this week, but I’m afraid I might forget a lot of important things to share by then. After all, what is more important than sharing our lives and experience about God?

Cameron Trip Day 1

I woke up late today, about 7.00am. What happened was, I only decided to go for this trip yesterday night at church and I have to stay back at church to practice base guitar for praise and worship. Arrive back in my room late at night, and I spent to whole night writing my clinical report and packing my stuffs. Tiring as it is, I slept at 5.30am.

Bus left around, 7.30am, thanks to me for being late, went on to fetch our pastor and his family at church. Me, as usual as stressful, spend the day in bus, revising my studies. As I was revising, often I heard laughter from the back. They seems excited and happy going for this trip. How I wished I could be just as excited and happy.

We arrive at Brinchang around 5.00pm to buy some food for tonight steamboat dinner. I get down the bus, joined them in fun of buying fresh foods and taking photos of those beautiful vegetables and fruits at the pasar malam. I came across this stall selling little little items, 1 item caught both me and my friend’s eyes, it’s a necklace with a cross in the middle. I bought it, but I wonder will I ever wear it, because I never wear this kind of necklace before. I don’t think I gonna wear it unless I can make sure that Im gonna a good person the day I wear it.

At night, we have steamboat, I ate till my stomach bloated and yet still there were much food left. Then we gathered, sang songs and have a session of sharing. I was just the quiet listener as I always been. Many questions were raised that night, such as ‘Why Adam was allowed to sin?’, ‘Why God brought disaster during the days of Noah?’, etc etc and the end it became a bible study when some of us started referring to bibles and answering each other question. Me, as usual, went back to study earlier than others.

Cameron Trip Day 2

I woke up late again, everybody already took their bath and had their breakfast. Because I was late, I couldn’t have those eggs for breakfast, ruginya. Though I got to eat some bread. The morning small group discussion was about controlling our tongue. We go through some bible verses and started discussing how as a Christian we can control our tongue. One very important thing I learned is that, there will always be times that we lose control of our tongue and people will get hurt. When that happened, the way out is simply admitting that we are wrong and not trying to be defensive and argue. We are just weak human beings, we need to admit when we are wrong and come back to God.

Then after that, we went on travelling all around Cameron, taking photos here and there. I can’t remember much, too many places we went to. As what I can see, everyone were having fun, taking photos with beautiful plants and fruits. Maybe I should post those photos here…

The night, we went back to our resorts. We had a bible quiz, guys versus girls, which guys won at last, thanks to some of our guys who are just so good in their bible knowledge(Sadly I’m not one of them). But one thing that struck me during that session is that, one of the them said, ‘First time I saw Jonathan laugh!’. I guess I looks too serious during the 1^st 2 days of camp.

Cameron Trip Day 3

This is our last day in Cameron. This our morning devotion, which the topic is being holy, one of our brothers, I call him A. A gave a wonderful testimony. He was preparing for his exam and he needs to see those histological slides. A group of friends were keeping those slides for themselves for a very long time and he does not feel happy about it. He then approached one of the friends and asked whether can he borrow those slides to study. Then his friend said he can lend those slides to A provided A return those slides within 2 days. At first, A was very unhappy because those friends has been keeping those slides for so long and now they are only allowing him to use for 2 days. But instead of showing his unhappiness, A decided to answer this ‘I will return you the slides by tonight’. Instead of agreeing to borrow for 2 days, he decided to return them in less than 24 hours. His friends was amazed by his response and since then they showed favour to A whenever he asked for help. This reminds me of a bible verse,

‘Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.’ Matthew 5:39-41.

It was a trip to remember… Thank God I went. J

Birthday Party!

1 hour ago, my CG members and some other CF members just celebrated my birthday. Personally I felt touched by their thought. Although me as a CG leader has been through a lot of downs lately, I have been evaluating myself as a CG leader recently, finding myself in a deadlock state trying to get all my CG members closer to one another, trying to make our CG a place of belonging. Although our CG state and condition didn’t really improved much since I become a CG leader since 2^nd year, but what I see just now during my birthday party is that, although there are few of us, it didn’t really matters at all cause whoever who comes and gets involved, they get blessed.

I learned to accept my physical limitation, just as we can’t force people to accept Jesus as their personal savior, so it’s the same goes for Cell Group. We can’t force people to get involved in Cell Group if they don’t want to. Same goes for Church and CF, we can’t push Christians to Church or CF if they don’t want to. Christianity is not a religion with rules and regulations that we need to obey, it’s a personal relationship with Jesus.

I got a nice bag for my birthday, it can be used to keep laptop also. Multipurpose bag! Its like a blessing from God and my CF friends in the midst of the troubles and uncertainty I have been facing the past 1 month. And as for our CG, I just rest all my Hope in the One that I have been Livin’ for. J

Cell Group

        One of the major activities organized by Christian Fellowship USMKK  (CFUSMKK) is having small groups called Cell group (CG). The Cell groups exist to strengthen the fellowship of CF members in small group by sharing our lives with one another. I was asked to continue as CG leader again this yr. Among the objectives that I need to achieve this yr are

1. Cell groups enables CF members to be personally known and cared for.

2. Develop a connection between daily life and God’s Word by discussion and sharing of testimonials

3. Build accountable relationships with another believer through S.A.G (Student accountability group)

4. Encourage each other to grow in Christ

            Among this 4 objectives, I failed to achieve even one of them. I dunno why, but I jz felt that our CG is not working. Many members are not attending the meetings, though all of our meetings so far are just birthday celebration. For me, if they dun even bother to attend the birthdays parties, I dun think they will bother to come if we have bible studies or outing. Even our birthday parties are all held in USM and each just lasting less than 1 hour, yet many still choose not to come. Maybe I have not been a good CG leader… maybe they don’t feel the sense of belonging in our CG… maybe they don’t like birthday parties and cakes… maybe I didn’t prayed enough… I dunno.

            Someone in our CG asked me to remain as CG leader but I don’t see the point of remaining. I was the CG leader for past 2 years and some CG members have been with me since they are 1^st year, but our CG is still the same. So far I only found 1 person capable of taking over our CG but that person decline the offer. I still wonder whether should I remain as CG leader, since next year I will be facing a major exam, Professional 3 and its not gonna be easy…

上帝的大能

上帝的大能

- 他怎么可能救别人?
- 不可能想到的方法。
- 犯罪， 痛苦， 羞耻， 和死亡的结合。
- 无限荣耀， 无限的智慧， 无限能力， 无限的怜悯和慈爱。
- 我们需要他的怜悯， 需要他的施恩。
- 耶稣基督的真正伟大。

人真正的需要不是宗教， 人真正的需要是一个救主。

这个钉在十字架的方法， 不是人想出来的办法， 乃是从上帝来的。

耶稣的伟大不只是怜悯， 也包括他的博爱!

感谢主!