Faithfulness Forever

Exactly 2 more weeks I gonna face my Professional 3 exam. Feelings of anxiety and uncertainty begin filling my heart. So much to study, so much to clinical examination to practice. I really dunno how this 2 weeks is gonna be, what the outcome. I wish I could just turn back time and start all over again, but tats of course impossible.
We can try our best to achieve anything but, we cant guarantee anything in life.
With this I put my all my hope and trust in God. Whatever the outcome of this Pro 3, I will still praise Him.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but I everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.” Philippians 4:6

SUKAD 2008/09 – Archery

It’s been some time since I last posted a blog here. Very much ‘distracted’ by many things. After losing badly in SUKAD Squash few months back, I started playing archery. With Julian as the coach, and my 2 brothers as teammate, Alex and Arvind, we started training way back 3 months ago. I know I’m taking a big risk, cause by doing this, I will have less time in studies. But I really wanna try this last opportunity to glorify God in sports. Age is catching up with me, so does time. Archery was my last shot to get a gold in SUKAD. After this, I will ‘officially’ retired from competitive sports. No more intensive training after this. Just as the bible says in 1 Corinthians 9: 24-25, “Do you know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.”
The crown that athletes won in sport is a crown that will not last. Somehow, someday, they will be beaten or their records broken. But the crown that will last forever is the crown of our personal relationship with Jesus. We live a life that glorify God, that’s the crown that last forever. That’s why in sports, we give glory to God when we win.
Our training wasn’t an easy one. It was really a strenuous time. We shot arrows everyday except when it was raining, starting around 4.30pm till around 7pm. On weekends, we trained in the morning and evenings. And most of time, especially in the mornings, I go knocking on Arvind’s door. He will show his sleepy face, opening the door. Then after a few weeks, there come the raining season for about 1-2 months. During that period, I went to district hospital, Hospital Pasir Mas for 3 weeks.
Sometimes our training was fun, all those kutuk-mengutuk and gurau-bergurau between me, Alex and Arvind was hilarious. We used to joke, saying to Arvind, ‘If he hits the bullseye, Lynn will fall in love with him.’ Hahaha! Through this hard but fun training, I develop a bonding with Alex and Arvind.:-)
Came back from district hospital in the early January, we continue our intensive training for 2 weeks before we depart to USM Main Campus together with the female team. My family prayed for me and Im very happy that my dad owiz support my course and struggle in university. Many friends sms me encouraging messages, I was very touched.:-)
We prayed together before we go for each competition. The archery competition in Penang was eventful, we leads both events, 20m and 30m,winning the gold. The women team also got gold. This is my 1st gold won in USM, an unforgettable memory.

Gold medalist

Hospital Pasir Mas

Its been a few days since I was posted in Hosp. Pasir Mas. Life here was really different than that in USMKK. Arrived here on thursday, I found the scenery here rather peaceful and quiet. There were 17 of us, 6 guys and the rest girls, one house for each. Two dutch students from Holland came and join us in this district posting. Wow, our life here will be much more interesting with their presence. The house was dirty, so the first day was all cleaning and mopping. One good thing we found is that, the previous groups left a map of Pasir Mas in our house, showing those popular food restaurants in Pasir Mas. These restaurants were also rated, imagine that? How creative they were?

The next day, we set out to check out those ‘hot’ restaurants in Pasir Mas, but unfortunately most of the reataurants are closed on fridays. We wanted to eat the ‘Lian Hong’ Loh Mee, but it was closed too. So we just settle down with wan tan mee nearby. That day was also one of our coursemate, Zie’s wedding party. Including her, there were already 4 ppl in group who are married, one of them is already a mother! I am still single.:-( So jealous of them… Anyhow the bride was so beautiful tat day. She was always pretty, but tat day was just extraordinary beautiful. We had another lunch at the wedding party and then took photos with the newly wed couple.

On day 3 which was Sat, We spend the whole day online, chatting, downloading movies. The line here was quite fast, so our computers were on most of the time. I brought my keyboard along and Viki brought his guitar. I taught Toh Jeng, my coursemate to play ‘My heart will go on’ on the keyboard and he was diligently practising it since then. Occasionally his gf (who is also our groupmate) will drop by listen to him playing. How sweet…:-)

Yesterday, was just the usual briefing, running in the wards, doing procedures. We are supposed to go Barkas in the evening, to do some research on the water in Kelantan but due to technical error, the trip was postponed. Tis morning, I went to the Labour room, and there was this patient, 28 year old female, gravida 2, para 1, about to give birth to her second child. No painkiller was given to her. Her active phase of labour was long and she was having difficulty pushing her baby down. Possibly due to her short contraction pain. It took almost 1 hour before finally the the baby’s head came out. Here in Pasir Mas, unlike HUSM, they dont give painkiller to pregnant ladies in labour. Imagine the pain they go thru? I really salute these ladies who choose to deliver in Pasir Mas.

Life here is rather slow paced, unlike in HUSM. People here are more relaxed and not in a hurry. I dont feel so much pressured here.

Experiencing God in Christmas

Testimony by L. B. Liang

Hi brothers and sisters,
First of all, for those who have never heard of me, I am Lau Bik Liang, a 4th year medical student from Sibu, Sarawak.

Christmas night is coming soon. This is the biggest event for CF. I have been through three meaningful Christmas nights in USMKK that has brought me a lot of good memories.

In my first year, I was so excited about Christmas night that I wished to participate in a lot of performances. However I ended up with only joining choir. Haih… Maybe I really am not a talented person, haha! Never mind, I still enjoyed myself during that Christmas because I found something special about CF – love among brothers and sisters. CF had given me a sense of belonging and we are all like in a big family with lots of care and encouragement from each other. During that time, we spent a lot of time and effort in practicing choir. Despite feeling exhausted, we got support from each other. Besides that, many Christians who seldom turn up for routine CF meeting also came to help for Christmas night. There was a great deal of fellowship among us. It was a warmth Christmas night for me staying so far away from my family

The following year, I was surprised to be asked to take charge of Christmas night choir. In the beginning of our practice, we faced problems like a lack of musicians and song selections. We have a very limited number of musicians as compared to now during that time and most of the musicians were final year students who were very busy in their study. Thus, I feel quite stress at that time. Thanks to the Christmas night committee that year who prayed continuously for these matters and we finally got the musicians. I think God had answered our prayers and that’s why most of our problems were solved. Prayer is great!

Last year’s Christmas was a struggle to me, the most struggling, in fact. I actually felt bored after serving two years in Christmas night. However, David (our previous CF president) came to my room and asked me to become vice president for the Christmas night committee. At first I rejected because of my Pro 2 exam. I wished to focus more on my studies since that was my Pro 2 exam year. Previously we rarely see a Year 3 medical student taking such a heavy job in any CF event. Thus, that discouraged me in taking the position as the vice chairman for Christmas night. The thought of worrying about “others would have a chance to study much more than I do as they continued to stay in their room” had ruminated in my mind. Thank God that in the end, I did agree to become vice president and my results was considered good enough for me to enter my 4th year. Haha! I think this was the first time I struggle to participate in God’s work and I am glad that I had chosen the correct pathway

This coming Christmas, I wish I can continue to involve in the work of God and experience God’s work on me. For those brothers and sisters who still hesitate to help in Christmas night, please hurry to lend a helping hand. I am sure God will make this a special Christmas for you as He had made it for me in the past three years.

May God bless you all!!!

Tuesday with Morrie

Testimony by T. Liszen.

… a book that I read during early in my fourth year in University, I could recall not much of the book’s messages, but there is one chapter, one particular that keeps on lingering in my mind until now…and will once in a while pop out to echo loud in my mind. It is a chapter where Mitch, the author asked his old, bed-ridden professor, Morrie, who had been afflicted with a disease known as Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis or ALS, about his opinion of the Book of Job. I suppose Mitch was wondering how a suffering patient like Morrie would see God’s deeds on Job in order to test Job’s faith.

As a Christian who was very enger to know more about God then, I am ashamed to admit here that I was terrified when reading through the Book of Job.
Yes, I was terrified.
“If I were to give all out for God, will I be experiencing the same situation as Job?”
It was not the adversities to come in the way that I feared the most; It was the process of testing my faith to God.
I love God very much; at least that was what I thought I was then. “But will my faith survive all those adversities if I were Job?”
Despite all these thoughts, I could not help but try to learn to be a good servant of God, because without His salvation, I will not be here writing this. Hallelujah!
Hence I began my journey to learn to be a good servant since my Year 4 in University. And more often than not, I would be encountering helplessness, loneliness and being perceived as a weird person or hypocrite. I survived these and I said to myself. “Hmm, not bad…may be it is not as bad as I thought it will be. Yes, as long as I put my eyes on God, God will help me to go through all those trivial trials. He will be my strength when I am weak.”
I had been holding to that thought whenever I encounter difficulties, until a few months ago, I found myself too weak to even to think of that thought.
I was confused, bitterly in pain emotionally and physically, and worse, I blamed God for what had happened.
I blamed Him for giving me a problem that could not be undo, I blamed Him for allowing that incident to happen, I blamed Him for involving the people I care and love all this while, if all these were to help me to grow…why it could not be that I being the one and only who undergo it?
Then during the CF meeting when Mick came to preach about “Encounter”, he said about how job demands of God an explanation of his plight, and God said,

“Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?
Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you, and you shall answer me.
Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?”
Those verses were like a slap on my face.

Who am I and what am I to question and to even blame God? Then I realized that I had been loving and worshiping not God, but rather God’s gift and blessings upon me. I love what God can bless me with, to the extent that I idolize the gifts, not the Giver. That is the reason, I suppose, I agonized so much when things gone so wrong in my eyes, and forgot that sometimes, humans will never be able to comprehend all of God’s ways. For God’s ways are higher than our way.

The recently, God put me through a serial of events to help me to seize the meaning of true faith in Him. I could not share with people I love what are in my mind, what are troubling me and why am I acting in such ways. It was indeed a true agony, when the people you love started to doubt you and you could do nothing to make them understand. Then I learned at that time, am I not the same? Putting God into such situation myself? I doubted Him so many times, while deep inside, I know He loves me, and He has always been there for me. It must have been very painful for God too, to have His child to doubt Him, when all the things He has been doing, are for the good of His child, just that it is beyond the child’s ability to learn the blessings behind. Thus, I know now, Father in Heaven, that I should keep on having faith in You, even if the situation looked terribly grim and messed up at that moment.
And at the end of that chapter, Morrie answered Mitch, “I think, God overdid it.”
Personally, I think, God was doing things in His ways, in accordance to His will.
Well, so now I am really grateful and praising God for the trials He has been giving me, and I think there are more to come…but thank you, Father in Heaven, for promising me that You will not give me burden that I cannot bear. And I would really love to end this by sharing with you all these verses.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4.

Massive Oncall

Yesterday I had a massive oncall at A&E, HUSM. It was exciting and eventful. Even my buddy, Vikinesan was there with me, undergoing the challenges of A&E life. For the first time, I forgot for a moment my lonesome, depressing life in USMKK. I was in the A&E from 10pm til 3am.

There was this patient in red zone. She is a 62 year old Chinese lady. She actually came to HUSM tis morning for her regular follow-up. During the follow-up in clinic, the doctor there noted her blood pressure was high. She was then discharged with medication for her high BP. She went back and took the medication. But then she later develop headache, dizziness and chest discomfort and came to the A&E at around 2pm. She was stable and placed in yellow zone before suddenly she collapsed. She was quickly brought to red zone and an emergency ECG was done. ECG shows ventricular fibrillation (VF). It was a sudden cardiac arrest. They started CPR on her she was defibrillated for 10 times before her heart started pumping again.

I went to A&E around 10pm and saw her lying in one of the bed in red zone. Viki told me that the medical side has reviewed her and couldn’t do any definitive treatment for her as she is unstable. She was diagnosed acute myocardial infarction and started on IV medication. Then suddenly around 10.30pm, this patient who was already sedated, develop VF again. We alerted the doctors, and help them do the CPR on this patient. The doctors did defibrillation on her. Me and my coursemates takes turn to do chest compression on her, besides ambubaging and giving IV adrenaline. The patient regain her pulses. But then later, she develop VF almost every 10 minutes. Imagine having to do CPR every 10 minutes. Fortunately, the are many of us. This patient was supposed to transferred to ICU and her condition is unstable and A&E is not the place to monitor patient 24 hours. It’s the ICU. But unfortunately, all the ICU beds in HUSM is full last night. Even the ICU beds in Hospital Kota Bahru and Perdana in KB is full. ICU beds in Hospitals in Terengganu also full.

The MO then asked me to explain things to the patient’s son who was also in the red zone, watching her. I told him there is no bed in ICU, and the patient is very unstable and will frequently develop VF. We might have to resuscitate her until next morning. Even if we send her to ICU, the ICU doctors will do exactly the same thing. But ICU has staffs tat will monitor her for 24 hours. I asked him whether he still want us to do CPR on her if she continue to develop VF. He then insisted that we resuscitate her until he call all his family members to HUSM. So then, the MO let us take care and resuscitate the patient by ourselves. I really feel like im a doctor, being able to manage patient with my coursemates. But when I look the the patient’s son, I feel for him. He is very depressed and everytime his mother goes into VF, he broke into tears.

Finally, at around 3am, one patient in CCU passed away, leaving one bed empty in CCU. The MO then decided to send her to CCU. I accompanied her family members to CCU. I wonder how is she now.
Besides her, there was also another 2 patient in red zone. One 64 year old man came with shortness of breath and another 59 year old woman also came with shortness of breath. The man was diagnosed with Myocardial infarction and the woman was diagnosed with diabetic ketoacidosis secondary to urosepsis. It was a extremely busy night in the A&E.

射箭

最近我找到一个新运动， 那就是射箭。 我在这大学已经读了四年， 我从来没想到会学射箭。是  Julian 介绍给我的. 到今天， 我学了一个星期， 满爽了。 有其实中那中间黄色， 我觉得真的很 high! 好像找到宝物。 可是有时候， 我射的简会 miss! 那时候， 我心里好像刚刚 heartbroken. 很痛苦! 哈哈! 如果这射箭， 我可以练的好， 我可以代表 Murni Nurani 进 SUKAD. 就是我还有机会为 Murni Nurani 赢金牌。 赢了金牌， 我会把所有的荣耀贵给上帝。

 

进了这射箭， 我没时间作别的东西。 有时候， 我问我自己， 为什么我怎么 ‘无聊’ 参加这些活动?  可是我相信， 参加运动可以让我们活出基督徒! 赢了， 是一个荣耀主的事情。 好像我们在学业里得到成功， 我们会讲， ‘是上帝帮我们的!’。 如在运动也一样。

 

但是， 最重要也是我们和上帝的 personal relationship! 如果这个  personal relationship  不好， 我们所有在外面做的事情都不会成功的。 要保养我们和上帝的  personal relationship.

SUKAD 08/09 – Squash

As i write this post, a deep sense of heaviness fills my heart. SUKAD Squash was over about 24 hours ago. Dunno how should I start. Playing squash for MurniNurani team has come a long way for me, and Im kinda sad tat its ends this way.

I started playing squash in the middle of 1st yr, starting fr zero. I doesnt know anything about sports tat time. That time those seniors are just much superior than me in their games, and I feel so inferior. But I continue on playing, believing tat one day i’ll  be as good as them. But my game develop extremely slow, though i played everyday, about 2-3 hours. I couldnt bring my level at par with them. Many times i feel like wanna give up and quit, but somehow my heart was reluctant. I believe one day, this sport that I play will be a testimony for God.

Its only during 3rd yr tat I make it to SUKAD. We have 4 players and I was the 3rd player. But during tat SUKAD 06/07, I allow my mental weakness to supress me, and i lost to my opponents easily. As a result, my captain didnt field me in the final match. But we managed to win the silver. But deep in my heart, I knew I played badly and below my average game.

In 4th yr, they cancelled of squash fr SUKAD. I was so deep frustrated as I planned give my best games in this tournament. I soon began neglect training.

This time, I was chosen as the captain. I returned to training and try to get back my form. For the past 1 month, I practise hard, and try to overcome my mental weakness. I managed regain my confidence and improve my strokes.

When the tournament start ytd, We were pitted in group C. We won both group match and emerged top in group C. This was actually a mistake because top group C wil be facing top group B which in Jaya, the previous champion in semifinal. I dont understand why they do such a draw…

In the semifinal match against Jaya, we lost 2-1 was knocked out. In final, Jaya trashed Fajar Harapan easily. Should we hav purposely lose a match in group C, we would emerged runner-up in group C and avoided meeting Jaya in semifinal. We could hav won the silver as Fajar Harapan is much weaker than us. I feel frustrated when i thought of this. I feel like knocking my head on the wall. Last night, I cant sleep well…

I never thought my years of playing squash will end this way. I hav trying to comfort myself since last night. But wat is passed is passed. Life must go on and I hav to look forward. These 4 years of playing squash, besides the silver we won in SUKAD 06/07, many sweet and sour experiences i gained. I wil still play squash occasionally, when people invite me for a game.

Besides this, I do really hope more juniors will take up sports in campus, not just for SUKAD, but as way to live up our christian lives.

Raya Holidays

Raya holidays started almost a week ago n now let just bout 2 days. Holidays r the time I owiz look forward to, a good time to rest and catch up with my family. As usual, there are owiz issues to deal with whenever i goes back home, we end up discussing those issues and figure out solutions. But stil its much better than being in campus. Campus life for me, its owiz full of stress n pressure. I get stressed up over studies, relationship wid those irritating selfish ppl, even sports and cg activities. My face oso older n older. Look like old uncle edi.

Im edi into final yr for about 2 months dy, yet i stil haven gotten into the ‘momentum’. This is reali worrying, as many of my final yr coursemates are already into the accelerating ‘momentum’. I dun to be the one left behind… Many things i havent revise yet, my clinical skills i yet to master. Argh!!! I reali tat this yr wil b a successful yr for me but things are going the opposite way…

SUKAD too, is around the corner, 17 oct, this time will be held in USMKK. I’ll be playing squash for the last time for USMKK. In fact, actually I planned to retire this yr, but since they held it at USMKK, i decided to give it another try. I hav not been training for a long time. Skills and fitness is really really down at the moment. Even this Raya holidays i couldnt find time to practise. I really hope tat i can regain my confidence n fitness in these 2 weeks. After this SUKAD, I wil bid squash goodbye. Say goodbye to all the sweet n sour memories in squash court.

Some recent events make me realise how human i am. Many areas in my life i been trying to change, trying to improve yet i failed. I begin to learn to leave things to God. Let God take over, Im just too tired edi.

Interaksi and Intergrasi Persatuan Photos

Its been a very long time since i updated this blog. Poor internet connection in campus really really frustrates me a lot, plus the busyness studying and ward work at HUSM. Now that Im having Hari Raya break, this is really a good opportunity for me to post blogs on my life from since Convo break til now. Wow! Wat a long period!!! Many ppl actually tell me that they viewed my blogs but sometimes i do wonder why they didnt post any comment here…

One eventful event in campus recently (not really recently la…) was the Hari Interaksi dan Intergrasi Persatuan. It was a day for all the societies in USMKK to participate in common activities such as choir presentation, futsal and sukanneka. Im really glad that CF took part in it, it shows that CF is not just another closed society but a society tat plays a role in campus events. I do really hope tat
CF can continue to play a significant role in building up lives within and outside USMKK. I was involved in the sukaneka and futsa. In futsal, we drew once and lost twice. Though didnt qualify for semifinal, we really had a nice time ‘fellowshiping’. The girls came in to watch our last game and supported us. Wow, how touched! But 1 good news we got, CF won the sukaneka event. Thanks to God