Archive for Medical studies
TRUST HIS FAITHFULNESS
If you were to look outside on a dark, stormy day, would you think the sun had disappeared, just because you couldn’t see it? Of course not.
Yet, some of you may be beside yourselves tonight because you’ve failed the Lord so badly you can’t imagine Him still being faithful to you. “After all,” you reason, “we reap what we sow. I’ve hit hard times and haven’t sown anything, so I guess I can’t expect anything from the Lord. I don’t know if I’ll ever pull out of this rut.”
But, as valid as God’s principle of reaping and sowing is, there’s another part of His Word, even more powerful, which says, “If we are faithless…He remains true (faithful to His Word and His righteous character), for He cannot deny Himself…He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you” (II Timothy 2:13 and Isaiah 30:19, AMP).
So, tonight, rest securely in the knowledge that there is nothing you can do to diminish His faithfulness to you, even if you haven’t been faithful to Him! Believe that He will be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. When He hears it He will answer you! He understands the circumstances of your life and wants to help you draw close to Him again!
Finally
Finally I completed this tough scary posting. In a posting where HO are fully responsible of every single details of a patient, I have been experiencing sleepless nights and nightmares of my patients collapsing in the middle of night. This is where some seniors take the chance to bully the HOs. But I do salute some who does the opposite and stand up for the HOs.
Im so thankful to God for helping me through this posting. For his grace and mercy in keeping my patients alive and well despite my poor knowledge and incompetence. But through this 4 months, I did get to really learn to become a safe and independent doctor.
Today, im in a new posting. A place where we fix and manage bones and muscles. But im getting lazier and lazier since completed my previous posting. Feel like drained of motivation and strength. Guess I used too much of it during the past 4 months. Haih….
Pray that i wil gain back my motivation and strength. 16 more months to go in housemanship….
For the sake of blogging….
Its kinda getting late, almost 11pm already. I better finish up this post and go to sleep fast. In this depart, we need to sleep early, in order to wake up in time and start our morn rounds at 6am. I began to feel ‘old’ recently. Sleeping early….
The condition in really challenging our patience. Imagine, its already almost 1 week, there was not a single pink branulla or opsite in the whole ward. I wonder what is the sisters doing. Is it the whole hospital is running low of branulla stock or is it plain laziness??? I dont understand. But this problem of low stock of equipments in the ward is really really making our job difficult and stressful.
Imagine, a patient came in with high grade fever associated with cough and SOB… We need to take blood C&S before starting antibiotics. If we start antibiotics without taking any culture, boss is gonna give us a ‘piece of his/her mind!’. But the whole ward, bottle for blood C&S NOT AVAILABLE! Geram betul…. Sometimes I just feel like knocking my head on the wall.
But what to do, this is part and parcel of being a houseman. Getting frustrated and irritated for things that are within our control… I seriously need the grace of God to keep me steady and cool in the midst of all this nonsense…
Maximum Medical Management
Maximum medical management! This is a word that is not rare. I wonder who created this term. Some patients admitted with severely ill condition, sometimes our boss will say ‘This patient is for maximum medical management’. It simply means that patient is not for active resuscication should he ever collapse. For this group of unfortunate patients, should they ever collapse, we still resuscitate them. But we don’t intubate them. Mostly, its grave prognosis.
Usually its the elderly, known case of carcinoma and with multiple illness will be in the group ‘maximum medical management’. But the word maximum medical management means maximum. So their management should be maximized. Sometimes I noticed, their management is not maximized. Kinda disappointing….
Just finished my evening rounds. Here, we housemans do our rounds twice a day including saturday and sunday, which is actually good for patients, but not good for us. Cuz we dont get weekends off. Actually they shud just allow us to do rounds once a day on weekends. I tot of suggesting tis to Boss, but who am I. Im just the ‘know-nothing’ houseman. Boss surely gonna shut me off and give me a piece of her mind… Hahaha! Nevermind, take it as something tat is beneficial for our patients…
Living up our mistakes…
Surviving as houseman simply means surviving our mistakes. Lets admit it, no one is perfect. But, when we see a dr for treatment, we expect perfect treatment. Of course, because it involves our life.
But, the fact is, doctors also make mistakes. Commonly most of a doctor’s mistakes will be during his/her housemanship days. In this department, when our seniors found out our mistakes, they will come after us like a hungry lions. So if one of us makes a mistake, we will be in deep ‘misery’. One of my colleagues even slept in the hospital room, even she wasnt oncall. Cause she was too worried that she might make any mistakes. She change her ward shortly after that. Cant blame her oso, cuz the MO in charge of that particular ward has too high expectation on HO. Man… I hope they dun post me in that particular ward. All the patients inside there were unstable and can collapse anytime.
I remembered how I made a big mistake during my final year pro exam. In the long case, I made a wrong diagnosis. It almost cost me that whole exam. By God’s grace, I narrowly passed my Pro 3 exam. I was so worried that I didnt even went to hear the result announcement… If I didnt make it during that Pro exam, I may have not started my housemanship yet, and the little one in my family may have not started his therapy yet. Although we are still struggling with him now, but still I thank God, at least now after I started working, our family has started to move somewhere…
Its so so late dy, and I need to get an early sleep again. Hopefully I get a ‘bedsore’ call this wednesday….
On ambulance call.
Last sunday was the first day I ever buy and read a newspaper during my days as houseman. the 1st news that caught my mind, was those irresponsible arson attacks. It was speculated that, those arson attacks followed when the High Court ruling allow use of ‘Allah’ to describe the Christian God. Well, as this is really really a very very sensitive issue, I shall not comment further. But those involved in those arson attacks are really jeopardising our social and national harmony.
Today, Im on ambulance call. Basically ambulance call is a passive call. We just wait for phone calls from hospital if there is any patient that need to be send to tertiary hospitals. Mostly patients sent from our hospital are those intra-cranial bleed (ICB) patients, where they will need neurosurgical intervention. There wasnt any neurosurgical specialist in our hospitals, so every patients with ICB, will be referred to the tertiary centre. And the journey from our hospital to that tertiary centre will take about 1.5-2.0 hours. Some patients will be intubated, so imagine, we have to ambubag them about 2 hours. By the time we arrive there, our hands will turned numb…
Ambulance calls sometimes can be interesting, but as for me, I prefer that, no patients tonight to be sent over, and I can have a good sleep. Cant stand the feeling of post-call…
Grateful
Today, I just got the news. A sister of my fren has passed away of stroke. Life sometimes can be so unpredictable. Someone we loved can be perfectly well today and then collapse in a split second. Good ppl die of serious illness. Hard to say whether will we breathe the next breath.We shud learn to appreciate those ppl around us. We never know, will we ever see them again…
I used to complain a lot bout being a houseman, complain about our workload and how we are treated. But now I realised, in the midst of us feeling that we are ill-treated, and bullied, there are many more unfortunate ppl around us. People who are sick, unwell and chronically in pain! People who have no source of help in their illness. They just relied on us, government doctors and nurses to cure them. Many end their life in hospital, which mostly is not the intended one.
I learned to count my blessings. Although being treated like slaves, get scolded like nobody business, I still thankful… At least I didnt have end stage renal failure or decompensated heart failure. People call me doctor and I still get my pay every month. I dun need to lie in the hospital for a long time… having to wait for the busy nurses to attend my needs. Being a christian and knowing that I’m saved is already the greatest blessing ever.
Its getting late, and my eyes are getting heavy. Tomorrow will be another challenging day. Keep in heart, we are blessed!
Housemanship………
Wah, finally Im a house officer (HO). Though many ppl say HO is like Hamba Orang… But wat to do, life goes on rite… I got posted to Hospital Pakar Sultanah Fatimah (HPSF). Will I ever be a Pakar in this hospital??? Well, only God knows…
Its been 6 months as a house officer, and I still find it difficult to cope with working life. Working life really seems to be a monotonous life. And with us, HO working 7 days a week, its really a robotic life with no feelings. Hahaha! I really dun understand… why why and why only house officers work 7 days a week??? And we get ‘habuan’ like scolding, shouting and screaming all the time….
Seriously hard to remain like ‘Patch Adams’ during HO. Besides pressures from seniors, we get stressed up when staff nurses didnt carry out order, demanding patients. Hard to put up a smile when ur under such stress. I pray that the grace of God will overwhelm me, that I can put up a smile in such situation…
6 months has gone, 18 more months to go (If i dun get extended lar….), Im seriously counting days… When will I be out of this… Hope this 2 years of housemanship, I can keep close with God and family… and be an encouragement to patients and colleagues…
Faithfulness Forever
Exactly 2 more weeks I gonna face my Professional 3 exam. Feelings of anxiety and uncertainty begin filling my heart. So much to study, so much to clinical examination to practice. I really dunno how this 2 weeks is gonna be, what the outcome. I wish I could just turn back time and start all over again, but tats of course impossible.
We can try our best to achieve anything but, we cant guarantee anything in life.
With this I put my all my hope and trust in God. Whatever the outcome of this Pro 3, I will still praise Him.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but I everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.” Philippians 4:6
